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Evolution Abroad

6 Feb 13

Bringing Back Meaning into Your Life

The honeymoon-period was over and it was time for me to face real life. I was without a job and without a plan. The abundance of time had come to me as a blessing during the first couple of weeks. During the weeks following, however, I was seriously missing a sense of purpose in my new life.

There were plenty of ways to keep myself busy and fill the hours. Nevertheless, as a goal-oriented person I couldn’t be satisfied with drinking coffee, decorating the apartment, walking around the neighborhood and memorizing Spanish vocabulary. After a while, freedom felt empty and I felt bored and meaningless.

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will,
either by having nothing happen at all
or by having everything happen all at once.
Paulo Coelho Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged analyzing the expat process, goal-oriented, life purpose, personal growth, self-development, tough times, unemployment
30 Jan 13

When Love Leads You Across the Border

Was it just a fling or is this thing for real? The holiday tan and laid-back atmosphere of travel confuse easily. I remember myself saying that I wasn´t the kind of person for a long-distance relationship. None of my friends was and I thought people at home would tell me I was crazy. But how could I be so sure? I guess it´s normal to be cynical at the beginning.

Before I knew it we were having endless Skype conversations. We tried to stay distracted during the day while bearing the countdown until we would meet again. I called it the darn circle of separation anxiety of waiting waiting meeting meeting and saying goodbye saying goodbye. There´s simply no getting used to and as the circle continues, you wonder if it´s worth all the trouble.

I´ve learned a lot about love across borders the last couple of years. Here are some thoughts:

 

international love

 

Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged countdown, emotions, future, international couples, long-distance relationships, love, risk, Skype, visualizing
21 Jan 13

Making Friends Abroad: Locals vs. Expats

Making friends as a kid is so much easier than as a grownup. Now it requires a bigger effort, no matter if you´re living in your own country or somebody else’s. Although it´s not the first time we develop a social network from zero, it feels very unfamiliar and unnatural.

At home you were used to having at least a couple of relatives, friends and acquaintances to interact with on a regular basis. Believe it or not, but those people kept you healthy! Now you start with pretty much no contacts. You´re feeling ill, because you are… Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged analyzing the expat process, friendships, health, locals vs expats, making friends, relationships, social life, tough times
15 Jan 13

At Risk of Losing Native Language Skills

Today it has been three years ago that I left my home country. Since then, my native language usage has drastically diminished. Although I fight against losing it, every time I speak Dutch on the phone I notice I´m having more and more problems finding the right words and expressing myself properly.

I´m afraid that my international lifestyle of living in a Spanish speaking country and being together with a German could endanger my Dutch speaking and writing abilities. This threat worries me as it wouldn´t only add more difficulty and frustration to my native communicative skills, I would also be losing an important part of myself… Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Multilingualism
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged cultural attachment, Dutch, language attrition, language immersion, languages, mother tongue, multilingual dilemma, personality
7 Jan 13

Pursuing Happiness Abroad

I had just moved to a great foreign country, living many people´s dream but I felt miserable. I had never been this unhappy and I was too embarrassed to talk about it. I was healthy, had a nice place the live and enjoyed sunshine every day, why couldn´t I be happy?

The pursuit of happiness is the driving force behind people’s lives and expatriates seem to be more focused on optimizing their happiness than anyone. Often they hope to find in another country what they were missing in their own.

Jan had brought me here and told me he wanted to stay “as long as I was happy”. But what to do with this adorable wish when you don´t know how to achieve that? I was going through a tough lonely time and I would have been glad with feeling OK.

How to go beyond OK and actually find happiness abroad? Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged action plan, analyzing the expat process, cultural adaptation, dreams, finance, happiness, health, inspirational, relationships, social life
24 Dec 12

It´s Gonna Be a Lonely Christmas?

If celebrating Christmas abroad is one thing, it´s stress free. While everyone around me has been haunting for the right presents the last couple of weeks and back home people have overbooked the holidays with as many social events as possible, for me the December month has never been this quiet.

Avoiding the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is, however, not very desirable if you prefer spending the most wonderful time of the year with your family. After all, the happiest memories of Christmas are of the joy that comes with celebrating with each other, right?

It´s sad but true that life abroad sometimes doesn´t leave us much choice than making the best of it without them. Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged Christmas abroad, family, home, loneliness, Skype
17 Dec 12

The Art of Staying in Touch Abroad

Don´t we all say “See you on Skype!” at our goodbye parties? We plan to keep in touch but do we really? How often have we said that and with how many friends and relatives do we actually keep closely in touch? “See you soon!” is another one. People find our future home abroad often an attractive holiday stay and are tempted to pass by any time soon. But how many have and take the chance to come along?

In the beginning I felt responsible: The one who´s leaving should take the initiative – I thought, which is not a bad attitude at all. However, like maintaining any long-distance relationship it demands effort of both sides. In the digital era we´re living in, contact on a distance has never been as cheap and easy. Nevertheless, in the end it´s people who have to work for it… Continue Reading »

0 Comments
Filed in Emotional Rollercoaster
  Posted by Marleen
Tagged communications, home, Skype, staying in touch

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  • Hi there! I´m Marleen and this is my safe haven on the Web. I´m Dutch but I live in Guadalajara, Mexico. Here I share my adventures of living in a foreign country. Hopefully it inspires you to develop your own Evolution Abroad.
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