My apologies that I didn´t write the last couple of weeks. I promise I will do better in the future!

I had a valid reason not to write though. I was visiting my family and friends in the Netherlands. It had been one and half year the last time I saw them. I had never been gone from my home country for such a long time. You can imagine that I had a wonderful time catching up and “eating up” ;-).

I stayed two and a half weeks. Time flew, but I made sure every second counted. It was enough to reenergize and put things into perspective; I realized more than ever that living abroad is about learning how to live between two worlds (or even more than two for some of us).

Continually Comparing becomes Second Nature

As I was nearing the departure date for my first trip home since we moved to Mexico, I started fantasizing about things in Holland. I thought about all the people I was going to see, food I was going to eat, stuff I was going to buy. I caught myself hopelessly romanticizing home and I was loosing sight of the beautiful things around me in Guadalajara. Especially when homesickness passed by, it was hard to keep things in perspective.

Once in Holland, however, – when all the Dutch food had been devoured and family had been visited – I started doing the same romanticizing about the things I missed in Mexico. That may seem illogical, but I really can’t help but continually make comparisons between the two worlds I am living in. I guess doing so becomes second nature for those living abroad.

Forced to Eliminate Desire

Now that I experienced that doing comparisons works in both directions, I understand that comparing the good and bad of both worlds is caused by the desire for what I can´t have at that moment. When I am in Mexico, I long for bike lanes and comfortable train rides. When I am in the Netherlands, I long for eternal sunshine and the warm hi´s and bye´s of the people in my street. And so on…

This situation leaves me no other option than accepting that it´s simply impossible to have well organized public transportation and palmtrees in front of my front door at the same time.
Life´s hard 😉

Back in Guadalajara, I enjoy Mexican daily life more than I did before my home visit. How come? I can fully concentrate on Mexico without being distracted of unfulfillable desires due to the fact that I recently sensed my native country. Living abroad forces me to hold on to this state of mind.

I wonder for how long I will be able to eliminate the Dutch Desire. For now – with my book shelves filled with Dutch books and kitchen cabinetes full of Dutch cookies – it´s easy!

When Two Worlds make Two Homes

For some reason, I had the expectation to feel alienated from Dutch society. I was clearly in an exaggerating mood when I made up this thought, because it was far from the case. Everything felt familiar and Holland felt perfectly like home. I was relieved and enjoyed my status as a local very much.

However, I also belong to Mexico now in some way. The place where Jan and I are building up a new life together and the place that is shaping me at the moment. I also call it home.

For outsiders it must be pretty odd to hear how our lives are being split between two worlds, two sets of friends, two homes… but I try to see it positively: It´s like being blessed with two lives in one.

You know that you are succeeding as an expat,
when home is not a black and white concept anymore.

Trying to combine the best of two worlds – here eating Dutch “bitterballen” in Den Bosch