The honeymoon-period was over and it was time for me to face real life. I was without a job and without a plan. The abundance of time had come to me as a blessing during the first couple of weeks. During the weeks following, however, I was seriously missing a sense of purpose in my new life.

There were plenty of ways to keep myself busy and fill the hours. Nevertheless, as a goal-oriented person I couldn’t be satisfied with drinking coffee, decorating the apartment, walking around the neighborhood and memorizing Spanish vocabulary. After a while, freedom felt empty and I felt bored and meaningless.

Life has many ways of testing a person’s will,
either by having nothing happen at all
or by having everything happen all at once.
Paulo Coelho

Jobless & Stagnating

Despite the fact that I had voluntarily chosen to quit my job to move abroad, the psychological effects of unemployment weren´t insignificant. I was missing a daily structure, social interaction, tasks and goals to accomplish and simply a good reason to get up in the morning. Moreover, I realized how I had no longer a strong grip on my self-esteem that was so intertwined with my work and colleagues.

Every day Jan would come home with passionate stories about his company, the interesting people he had met and the exciting plans he was making for the future. On the one hand side, I was happy to see that he was easily adjusting because his work was the main reason we had moved overseas. On the other hand side, his enthusiasm made me long even more for something fulfilling to do.

Although it´s important to invest time in making new friends, transforming your house into your home, getting to know the surroundings and working on your language skills, having too much time can easily establish some sort of paralyzing effect on people.

I realized that one of my biggest problems was the stagnation in my personal development. I refused to accept that I wasn´t developing any further due to the fact that I temporarily didn´t have a job, and I started looking for ways to learn and do useful things.

Your Search for Meaning

How to turn all this free time into a luxury again?
Here are some ideas for finding a sense of purpose and growth each day:

• Brainstorm ideas for working on a distance, propose your ideas to your former boss or start an online business – you can offer many services such as consultation on a longer distance.
• Research sources for further education or training on the Internet, order (e)books about topics of your field and do some courses to broaden or deepen your expertise.
• Take time to do self-research, investigate what you would love to learn or to do now that you have time for it. Start dreaming again, you might come up with refreshing ideas.
  *I came up with some surprising ideas for myself, but I´ll tell you later all about that*
• Create your personal list with daily tasks and deadlines so you know what to do when you get up in the morning. Remember to include the 8 goals of the Happiness-Abroad-list.
• Make another list including a broad range of interests and dedicate every day some hours researching topics you´ve always wanted to know more about; let our intriguing world inspire you!

You can either hold on to your passions from home or take the chance to discover new things. The beginning of this period has an experimental character that can eventually lead to for instance a new career, a second degree, or novel interests and hobbies. Even if you move abroad mainly for the benefits of your husband or lover, trust me, this step can also offer great benefits for you.

Slow Down to Speed Up

Moving abroad slowed me down. In the years before living in Mexico, I had been running through this world like a crazy person. I experienced adventure after adventure, chased goal after goal: The typical self-created stress of the Western world. I thought that was life and that was the way I was supposed to live it.

Well, this time the adventure started off very quiet and I had no idea how to respond.

Eventually, quietness and I became friends: It taught me how to enjoy an adventure more slowly, more consciously and more intensively. I learned that it´s ok to do nothing for a while. To break out of your busy routine, clear your mind and enjoy the small things.

To Unwind, Connect and Grow.

Losing meaning offered me the opportunity to think about new meaning.
It turned out to be a priceless experience after all.

What about you? Is life abroad slowing you down?